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Step Right Up.

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Step right up and see the fantastical, the unbelievable – the strange and the mystical. We have the bearded lady, the tattooed woman, the contortionist twins and –

I shit you not, I look and feel like I belong in a sideshow production – I look/feel like a dumptruck has emptied its contents all over me and left me to drown in disgustingness. Gah, even my ability to write reasonably has gone out the window.

I know who gave me this stomach bug, and I am still uncertain as to whether or not I will seek retribution… and if I do I think it will be in the form of vomit in a shoe. I feel empty inside, but that is most likely due to the fact I am routinely emptying the contents of my body in quite a projectile fashion – I swear I could win records in both distance and velocity of my vomit. When I am not vomiting, I am blessed with painful stomach cramps and absoulutly amazing headaches which I’m gonna go out on a limb and say are caused by dehydration.

So yeah. I look like a sideshow freak attraction, with my hair all oily and plastered to my face and a constant look of utter pain and disgust all over my face. I am and never will be a pleasant sick person, both to look at and to deal with. My loving boyfriend can vouch for that. Poor sod.

So, step right up and witness my sad attempt at self distraction – a review for the ages, methinks. I actually have no idea. It could be great and it could be… not. So long as it is a change from the constant smell of vomit and sadness, I think I will be okay with it. The fragrance I am reviewing? Step Right Up by Darling Clandestine. 

I am expecting quite a show and I am curious to see what direction this fragrance takes me in. After all, there are so many fragrances that can be pulled from something like a carnival – you can have gourmand type scents that have popcorn or fairy floss notes. You can go in a more mystical direction and channel a fortune teller with incense or amber notes. You could even go a little masculine and imagine the worlds strongest man with notes of old leather… or something. I dunno what the worlds strongest man would smell like.. sweat and steroids? I dunno. What direction has ‘Step right up’ taken?

It’s the eyes that tell you. When you shout into the crowd, daring them to enter a world of marvels, the likes of which they’ve never seen before. Some smile, some scoff, some drawback in what appears, uproariously, to be real horror. But there are a few—a select and wonderful few—whose eyes glimmer with a bright, palpable something, an untamed curiosity, an earnest desire to see and hear and touch and understand. These are the ones who linger in your memories, green and gray, gorgeous shadows of evenings by the sea, the glimmer and creak of wooden skiffs on the warm black water after the Big Top has tumbled and the throngs have dispersed. These are the ones who enter unblinking, meeting your outstretched hand with theirs, without fear, without scorn, without a word.

Oh ho ho – we have another person that likes to get whimsical with their fragrance descriptions! That makes me a very happy chappy, I must admit. After reading the description… I was left in the same place as before I read it — what direction is it going in? Obviously, it is going to be an ozone fragrance – clean and fresh. How do I gather that? Well, half of the description was describing the fact that it is by the sea. Not what I expected at all. I am going to step out on a limb and assume we are talking about one of those boardwalk things I always see in movies.

As I wear this, I am really surprised at how much I like it. It is strangely comforting and it reminds me of playing on this old worn down bridge thing as a child. It is certainly ozonish in nature, but it also isn’t. It’s not what you’d expect, that’s for sure. It is spicy, but in a floral sort of way. I’m thinking notes of carnations or maybe even white pepper notes? This scent is clean and fresh, but it isn’t typical like many perfumes that have ozone notes – it seems much more complex in nature. I can smell notes of peppermint tea leaves and hot summer rain. I can smell the slight notes of old damp pine wood and there is something curiously nostalgic about this scent on a whole.

I can’t begin to describe this fragrance. I love it… but it is eerie and kind of creeps me out. It has beautiful longevity on my skin which surprises me because my skin tends to drink up ozone notes and they last and hour or so max. Not this time however, and I think that may come down to the fact that there are stronger notes at play in the fragrance that really lift up the scent as a whole. Silliage wise, this fragrance doesn’t quite hit all the right notes for me – it stays close to the skin for almost all of it’s lifespan on the skin. At the start, it wafts around a little but as it dries down it stays close to the skin like a secret.

I’m going to label this beauty as a unisex fragrance that leans a little more towards the female population but can easily work on both sexes. It is a clean fragrance that has an eerie way of mimicking past experiences that were supposedly long forgotten. perhaps that is it’s trick? Either way, it’s time to step right up and face the music – I need to see a doctor , stat.


Filed under: Bath & Beauty, Darling Clandestine, Etsy, Reviews Tagged: Boardwalks, Carnivale, etsy reviews, Freakshows, Perfume reviews, Sideshows

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